4/15/2020 - NC

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26

This is a perfect scripture for a time like now. We are living in a really weird time fam. I probably said this before, but we are living through a historical time. This is something that will be in the history books and something that we will tell our grandkids. “Oh, COVID-19…ooff come sit on my lap, kiddy. Do I got a story to tell you…*breaks off into a How I Met Your Mother episode*.” Seriously, crazy times.

For me this is a dream come true, being stuck in my apartment with no work. Ya boy has been grinding grinding with drawing, writing and studying. However, it is not all pixies and fairy dust. Like most people, myself included, this time can truly suck. We are stuck in our homes with nothing to do but get lost with the unholy trinity of Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat, with their new up and coming henchman, TikTok (even though we can argue that TikTok can take Snapchat’s spot). Hell, even being alone with our thoughts sometimes is not that best thing for us either. I know for me yesterday sucked, I was filled with so much doubt and anxiety. I went to start on some work (this and other drawing projects) and I could not do it. I could not get comfortable and it threw me off tremendously.

I saw a TikTok the other day, let me just link it (No, I was not scrolling through TikTok, it popped on my Instagram feed. If I got TikTok I would never get anything done): https://www.tiktok.com/@lessonsfromaquitter/video/6808216945092087046

When I tell you this TikTok messed me up, it messed me up. This is something that I never thought before, but now I see it clearly and daily. Most of the time, time management is not the key to procrastination it is our emotions. I felt that deep in my heart and in my bones. When I procrastinate it is because I feel doubt, anxiety, and unworthiness. I have put off learning so much because I tell myself that I am not smart enough. I have put off so many writing and art project because I have told myself that I am not good enough. But I got Jon Bellion (Glory Sound Prep) and Kings Kaleidoscope (Zeal) running through my ears so I am ready to knock this out.

This drawing is easily one of my favorites of all time. The Japanese style is one of my absolute favorites to draw, watch and learn. It is a classical style with so many rules and boundaries, but I feel like if you do it right those rules and boundaries are elastic. It is no question, this is the best koi fish that I have ever drawn (might have to do a comparison, that would be cool to see the growth). This was, in a sense, the first time that I have done cherry blossoms. I have drawn the silhouette of a flowerless tree, but this was different. However, being able to draw the iconic and beautiful flower itself was an honor. And like always this could not have been done by my skills alone, all glory and honor to God. This piece was also my most intricate drawing that was a part of the Scripture Series, part three on the way? Maybe, I got the time.

Koi Fish Fun Fact: The koi fish symbolizes persistence, determination, wealth, success, and good fortune.

Cherry Blossom Fun Fact: Cherry blossoms symbolizes renewal. Their blooming is known as “sakura” in Japanese, these pale blooms are a symbol of spring because it is time of renewal.

Persistence means, firm or obstinate continuance in a course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition. Determination means, firmness of purpose; resoluteness. Renewal means, an instance of resuming an activity or state after an interruption. When I tell that God works, he works. I could have not planned this out myself. These three words are perfect for now.

Like I said, we are living in a wild time. However, there is still so much for us to be grateful for and taking advantage of. We should be taking advantage of the time we are able to spend on our self, with our family, and most importantly with God. The verse tells us, our body (our flesh) is weak. If we follow it, it leads to destruction and sin. I have seen so many friends, myself included, fall from and leave the Kingdom because they could not fight the desires of their flesh. This is all the devil needs to grab onto. He only needs the slightest foothold to grab onto, the slightest crack in the door to our heart in order for him to come prowling in.

Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is —his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

Do not fret and do not worry. God is our strength. He is the one that we should be leaning on. He is a loving Father; he wants us to come to him and tell him what we need. He wants us to cast our anxieties, doubts and worries on to him. A loving Father cares for his children. He never wants us to worry, when we are in pain he is in pain. He will allow his to endure forever.

1 Peter 5:7-9 says, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.”

This is peak season for the cherry blossoms. Instead of this being a missed season, use this as a season of growth and renewal. We have all this time to work on ourselves and try new things. Be persistent and determined to find God and grow in him. If we are persistent and we show determination, God will answer and will show you the way. Think through the definitions. A renewal can only happen after a period of interruption. If this is not an interruption of all interruptions, I don’t know what is. Be prepared and ready for what is on the other side of this pandemic. This is a difficult time but be persistent and determined to get out of this. Be relentless in the name of God. Doubt your doubts.

Stay safe. Nothing but love. Praying for you.